Pondering Upon the Bliss of Existence

It’s insane to hear my immigrant parents tell me this over and over again: that we live in a peaceful, democratic society, with many privileges at hand, and that our only goal is to make them proud by becoming really successful.

The trauma that they’ve been through is legit, it’s lively, it has never vanished. It’s what makes them speak like such – after all, they'd obviously want nothing other than a better life for their children.

But the trauma we go through is never spoken about. Why?

Expectations.

Obligations.

Respect.

We are often led by hand to fulfill the expectations of others, obey the elderly, and to always show respect. This puts us like myself at a disadvantage.

I’m sure you’d be able to relate when I ask you to think about the following:

When you work so hard to please others around you and make them proud, do you fail to look after yourself and most importantly, your happiness?

When you work so hard to please others around you and make them proud, do you sense them failing to notice and appreciate the little things?

The kinds of disadvantages you end up becoming vulnerable to slowly kills your mental well being. The more you put up with others to satisfy their needs, the more you become emotionally distressed. How?

We slowly lose the voice to speak up when we sense something is not right. I’m sure you’ve probably heard something along the lines of talking back to the elderly somewhere.

When we do something wrong, we become extremely worried. I’m sure at some point in your life, your parents, uncles, aunts, or even grandparents might’ve told you to look back at your family law book to correct yourself when you’ve done something wrong. 

I’m sure not everyone around you strips away your freedom in whatever you seek to do. But when someone does, don’t ever, I repeat, don’t ever let yourself sink down the drain when you sense something is not right. Especially when it comes to making serious life decisions. What exactly could these be?

Your career.

Your life partner.

When you let others around you make decisions for you, you degrade yourself on various levels. One of which you won’t be able to voice your own opinions with confidence. Your career and your life partner are two major components to life that determine how satisfied and happy you are with your life. The life you are granted is for you to live. While those around you, especially those who have raised you, do have the right to voice their opinions, it does not mean they are assured the right to strip away your voice entirely to compel you to doing things you have zero interest in. At the end of the day, make sure you identify your place in this world. Give respect, take respect, and never let anyone, including your immediate family members define who you are except for you.